In the unpredictable world of financial markets, where fortunes are made and lost in seconds, a surprising cast of non-human investors has emerged—hamsters, cats, and even chimpanzees. Among them, Mr. Goxx, a German pet hamster turned crypto trader, has captured global attention for outperforming seasoned professionals. But is this just a quirky internet phenomenon, or does it point to a deeper truth about market randomness and investment strategy?
The Rise of Mr. Goxx: A Crypto-Trading Hamster
Meet Mr. Goxx, the world’s most unlikely cryptocurrency trader. This energetic hamster doesn’t use charts, technical analysis, or insider tips. Instead, he scurries through custom-built tunnels labeled “buy” and “sell,” making random trades in a fully automated studio equipped with cameras, sensors, and live-streaming technology.
👉 Discover how random choices can outperform Wall Street experts.
His trading activity is broadcast live on Twitter, where followers receive updates like “Mr. Goxx has entered the office.” Behind the scenes, two anonymous German tech enthusiasts— a modeling expert and a programmer—built the entire system as a satirical commentary on the speculative frenzy surrounding digital assets.
Launched in June 2021 with an initial investment of €326 in Stellar (XLM), Mr. Goxx executed 95 trades within a month, initially suffering a 7.3% loss. But by September 27, his portfolio had surged to a 19.41% return, outpacing major indices like the FTSE 100 and even Berkshire Hathaway, Warren Buffett’s legendary investment firm.
While Mr. Goxx Capital is not a real financial entity and no actual money changes hands, the project highlights a provocative idea: if a hamster can beat professional traders using pure randomness, what does that say about market efficiency?
The name “Goxx” is a playful nod to Mt. Gox, once the world’s largest Bitcoin exchange before its infamous 2014 collapse due to hacking. Unlike its ill-fated namesake, Mr. Goxx thrives as performance art—a blend of humor, technology, and financial skepticism born during pandemic lockdowns.
Orlando the Cat: Purring Past Portfolio Managers
Before Mr. Goxx, there was Orlando, a ginger cat from the UK who became an accidental stock-picking sensation in 2012.
As part of a lighthearted experiment by The Observer, Orlando competed against two human teams: professional fund managers and a group of students. Each team started with a hypothetical £5,000 to invest in five stocks from the FTSE All-Share Index, with quarterly rebalancing allowed.
Orlando’s method? He tossed a toy mouse onto a printed stock page—the spot where it landed determined his next pick.
At year-end, Orlando’s portfolio delivered the highest return, beating both experts and students. His success echoed Burton Malkiel’s famous assertion from A Random Walk Down Wall Street: that a monkey throwing darts at stock listings could perform as well as trained analysts.
Though no one seriously advocates letting pets manage retirement funds, Orlando’s win underscores how randomness can sometimes triumph over expertise—especially in inefficient or volatile markets.
The Dart-Throwing Chimps: When Randomness Wins
The concept of random selection in investing dates back to 1973, when Princeton economist Burton Malkiel popularized the metaphor of a blindfolded monkey hurling darts at financial pages. His argument? Stock prices follow a random walk—meaning past movements cannot reliably predict future trends.
This theory ignited fierce debate. Proponents of active management argued that skill, research, and strategy matter. Yet over time, evidence has increasingly supported Malkiel’s view: most actively managed funds fail to beat their benchmarks after fees.
In 1988, The Wall Street Journal turned theory into reality with its "Dartboard Contest." Journal staff played the role of monkeys, throwing darts to select stocks, while professional investors picked their own portfolios. Over multiple rounds, the dart-throwers won four out of eight contests.
By 1999, real primates joined the game.
Raven the Chimpanzee
Raven, a trained chimp actress, selected 10 internet companies from a list of 133 by throwing darts. Her portfolio soared 213% in one year—outperforming over 6,000 tech funds. One stock jumped 95% in just six days. However, her long-term results regressed to the mean, proving short-term luck doesn’t equal sustainable strategy.
Adam Monk: The Monkey Who Beat the Crash
Adam Monk, a capuchin monkey from Brazil (nicknamed for “monkey” and economist Adam Smith), worked with Chicago Sun-Times readers to build portfolios by circling stocks with red pens. From 2003 to 2006, he consistently beat market indices. During the brutal 2008 crash, his portfolio dropped only 14%, far less than the average fund’s 35% loss.
Lusha: Russia’s Market-Making Ape
In 2010, Lusha, a circus chimpanzee in Russia, selected eight companies by randomly choosing from 30 labeled tiles—each representing a public or private firm. Starting with 1 million rubles (~$35,884), her picks doubled in value within a year, outperforming 94% of Russian mutual funds.
These cases don’t prove animals are superior investors—they highlight how random selection can rival expert judgment, especially when emotion, bias, and high fees distort human decision-making.
What These Animal Experiments Reveal About Markets
The recurring success of random picks suggests several key insights:
- Markets are highly unpredictable: Despite vast resources poured into forecasting models, stock movements often defy logic.
- Active management rarely beats passive strategies: Low-cost index funds frequently outperform expensive hedge funds.
- Behavioral biases hurt returns: Fear, greed, overconfidence, and herd mentality lead even professionals astray.
- Randomness isn’t always bad: In efficient markets, random selection may be as effective as any other method.
👉 See how data-driven decisions compare to random picks in today’s crypto markets.
As French financier Jules Regnault noted in 1863, price fluctuations follow statistical patterns akin to chance. Later reinforced by MIT’s Paul Cootner in The Random Character of Stock Market Prices (1964), this idea remains central to modern finance.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Q: Is Mr. Goxx really trading cryptocurrencies?
A: No—Mr. Goxx’s trades are simulated. The project is performance art designed to critique crypto speculation and market inefficiency.
Q: Did animals really beat professional investors?
A: Yes—in controlled experiments like The Observer’s cat challenge and The Wall Street Journal’s dart contest, random selections often matched or exceeded expert performance.
Q: Does this mean I should invest randomly?
A: Not exactly. While randomness can work short-term, long-term success requires discipline, diversification, and cost control—like investing in broad-market index funds.
Q: Can algorithmic trading mimic animal randomness?
A: Absolutely. Many algorithms use stochastic models or randomization techniques to test strategies and avoid overfitting.
Q: Why do so many active funds underperform?
A: High fees, emotional trading, and inability to consistently predict market moves reduce net returns—even for skilled managers.
Q: Is cryptocurrency more random than stocks?
A: Crypto markets are often more volatile and less regulated, making them appear more random—but trends and fundamentals still exist.
Final Thoughts: Who Should You Trust?
Whether it’s a hamster running through tunnels or a chimp throwing darts, these stories remind us that market timing is nearly impossible, and complexity doesn’t guarantee better outcomes.
Instead of chasing hot tips or trusting self-proclaimed gurus, consider simpler approaches: dollar-cost averaging, diversified portfolios, and low-fee index tracking.
And if you ever feel overwhelmed by financial noise?
👉 Let data guide your next move—not chance alone.
After all, while Mr. Goxx may have beaten Buffett once, he won’t be managing your portfolio anytime soon. But his legacy lives on—a whimsical yet powerful reminder that sometimes, simplicity wins.